Quel horreur!

A commotion in the distance. Maggie/Moon, the new dog laying next to me who still isn't quite sure of what she's supposed to answer to now, jumps up and off of the bed. My external hard drive's cord is captured by her paw. The mouse trap is sprung.

Six years of photos, documents, and music, amounting to about 185GB of files, are corrupted in the blink of an eye. I can see many of them still, but I cannot manipulate them. I can be haunted by this 185GB-worth of information once I plug it into my computer, but I can no longer master it.

I sobbed and sobbed, but no amount of tears can bring back these files. I never thought that the loss of computer files would make me feel like I'd lost a best friend, but it does.

RIP, photo/document/music library. RIP.

Now, to rebuild my digital empire.

I can't stop listening to this right now.

It's too majestic to ignore. It spawns waves of ecstasy. It's a sonic masterpiece and does what My Bloody Valentine could never do for me but did for so many others.

Atlas Sound's "Quick Canal," off of the album Logos.


Atlas Sound is the solo project of Bradford Cox, the singer for Deerhunter. I'm finding that I kind of love everything he does, with the exception of Deerhunter's first album, Turn It Up, Faggot.

This is my favorite Deerhunter song. "Agoraphobia" off of Microcastle.


This is the bigger single off of Logos, which some sources have been throwing on their lists for best of 2009.


All of these songs make me happy.

Ruh roh..

There is one semester left of non-real life. I will make the most of it.

I believe in miracles since you came along...you sexy thing...sexy thing, you...

OH NO!

Billy Corgan is dating Jessica Simpson.

Come on, Billy. Just...come on.

I feel like saying more about Billy Corgan...but I'm too disgusted at the moment to do so.

Stuffy.

Why am I sick again? Couldn't I have made it through the rest of the year without this?

No, apparently.

I'm annoying myself with what I typically bring up with other people in conversation: rejectors, my writing, my uncertain future. Lord, save us all from my ramblings.

I still want to move to Seattle when this undergrad stuff is done. I'm going to live in a small house with as many other people as possible to share the rent with. This is the goal. Then maybe I'll feel PUMPED about taking out more loans so that I can go to grad school somewhere nice. Which may or may not be right back here in beautiful Bloomington. That depends on what the university thinks about grad students going through the same program they went through as undergrads. I think I heard somewhere that they're opposed to it, especially in CMCL. I just assumed it was true, which was part of the reason I wanted to go into library sciences instead, then to come back for a doctorate in CMCL, should they be willing to have me.

I don't really know what I want right now, but I know that I still love CMCL and that I still want a doctorate. I'm also seriously considering suddenly going into vet school.

"What did you do before you became a veterinarian?"
"Oh, I analyzed the cultural implications of various pieces of media through my B.A. in English and Communication and Culture."
"Why would you ever stop doing that?"
"Who says I have?"
"Point taken."

In another news, I have been conceptually consumed by cannibalism lately. Ha.

Hell is a singular repeating song.

I don't know when I decided this, but it was early on in my days of Catholic school education. In attempting to explain Hell to us, they attempted to explain torture to us. That's hard to explain to children who have experienced very little real pain in their lives.

Meanwhile, I was already attempting to come off as a "serious listener," the 3rd grade version of myself was deeply into Garbage's self-titled album, Spawn: The Album, The Prodigy's Fat of the Land, Nirvana's Nevermind, and coming home to dance in the afternoon sun to Nine Inch Nail's The Downward Spiral. Yes, I was a pudgy, angsty 3rd grader doing interpretive dances in the living room to The Downward Spiral. My peers were interested in classic rock and pop music, if they listened to music at all. There were older boys whom I'd met in after-school care that were obsessed with Korn. They had bad haircuts, but they made me want to listen to Korn. And Marilyn Manson. They were in detention a lot, and their parents had divorced and remarried. It was a Brady Bunch situation in which a mother with two dorky, effeminate sons married a man with two angsty goth sons. I was intrigued at that age.

Anyway, at some point or another, I discovered that there were songs that I simply did not like hearing that I heard often. Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock & Roll" is one of these songs. I began to hate Bob Seger, though at the time I did not make the connection that he also sang "Turn the Page," which is one of my favorite songs and thereby cancels out his crimes against humanity in having written the song "Old Time Rock & Roll." Then I picked up on the fact that "Hell" could be used as a kind of adjective if "-ish" was added to the end of the word. I made the connection that I found it "hellish" to hear "Old Time Rock & Roll." By that reasoning, in Hell, I might be forced to listen to that song over and over again forever.

It wasn't long after reasoning this out that I also decided that it was possible that an individual, upon entering Hell, was told that there would be only one song played for the individual for all of eternity, and that the individual was then given a choice of what song they wanted to hear. So, the person picking their favorite song would end up hating it within a week, I reasoned.

I never did find a "favorite song." When people tell me that a song is their absolute "favorite song," part of me thinks "you poor bastard, it won't be after an ETERNITY IN THE FIREY PITS..."

Then I realize that I'm assuming that this person's going to Hell. Then I decide that I'm probably right, if Catholic school taught me anything.

Better than the Log Lady?

Sudden new idea for my Halloween costume...

http://www.aphextwin.nu/visuals/rdj/rdj-08.jpg